Dear, Fan fiction Supernatural edition
by Sabrialthazar
Summary: Where the characters of Supernatural express their true thoughts, and feelings, through letters to fan fiction. Any suggestions are appreciated.
1. Dean hates Mary Sue

_Dear Fan fiction,_

I don't know about you, but I am tired of all the Mary Sue's running around.

Do you know how many times a Mary sue has attacked me with her craziness? More than you think.

I don't even know what desires you to write such things, it really fucks with my head just thinking about it.

_ All Mary sue will die,_

_Dean_

* * *

A/N: Okay, suggestions?


	2. Angelcest is considered incest

Dear_ fan fiction,_

I am sick of it.

Sick of what?

All the ship that have incest. Seriously.

Lucifer and I? Not likely, need I mention he KILLLED me?

Balthazar and I? Now, that one is a little cool.

Castiel and I? What? That is probably the worst one yet.

Michael and I? That's not even a thing, you're making that up!

What is up with all the angelcest, seriously. You do realize that we are all related, right?

_Angelcest is still incest,_

_Gabriel_

* * *

A/n: Anyone have suggestions?


	3. Castiel- What is a ship?

_Dear Fan fiction,_

I am not sure what that means.

Are you referring to a ship, like in the sea?

Or is it some weird slang term I have never heard?

And why does everyone keep saying that they love 'Destiel'?

I do not understand what you are saying.

_Please explain,_

_Castiel_

* * *

_A/n: This was a totally random idea. Don't worry, I'll get to the requests soon!_


	4. Balthazar vs Puberty

_Dear Fan fiction,_

Who came up with this stupid idea?

De-aged Angel fics?

What the hell, do you know how torturous puberty is? No one wants to go through that twice!

And how come they are all so cliché it isn't funny, come on! Can't you spice it up?

You are an idiot if you find that garbage acceptable entertainment!

_Not so impressed,_

_Balthazar_

* * *

A/n: Someone mad Balthy unhappy!

Do you like de-aged angel fics?


	5. AU where angels are pets- Reactions

_Dear Fan fiction,_

Angels as human pets, whose idea was that?

No, really, I need to know whose idea that was- for... research.

But, get your facts straight, Angels could have human pets, but I don't see angels as pets.

I would make a bad pet, trust me.

_Not so sincerely,_

_Lucifer._

* * *

_Dear fan fiction,_

Why would the humans do that to us?

I thought they would either be horrified of us, or bow down to us.

Not use us as pets, isn't that what dogs are for?

_Confused,_

_Castiel_

* * *

_Dear Fan fiction,_

Those stories are so cliché I want to scratch the eyes out of my head.

Do you know how many are about an abused angel (Cliché one!)

Falling in love with a loving human or whatever (Cliché two!)

Then they usually will live happily ever after (Cliché three!)

I am sure there are more Clichés, I just missed some of them.

_How likely does this seem to you?,_

_Balthazar_

* * *

_Dear Fanfiction,_

Words cannot describe how horrified I am.

_Scarred for eternity,_

_Gabriel_

* * *

A/n: Hey! Thanks to whoever requested this... You are allowed to yell at me for forgetting who requested it.


	6. Dean don't bend like that

_Dear Fan fiction,_

Who the fuck came up with genderbending?

Would you like to Genderbend? No? Then don't do it to me and I won't do it to you.

But seriously, I would not make a good female. Yes, I would be sexy, but that doesn't make me great.

And, I'm pretty sure I would like to keep my man parts and not have lady parts.

And, you all have fucked up minds if you think that shit it good entertainment.

If you want entertained, Watch Doctor Sexy. Or something like that.

_I don't bend like that,_

_Dean_

* * *

A/n: Yeah, another request down! Anyway, I need more Non-Dean requests. Like some kind of Sam or Lucifer or Crowley or something like that request.


	7. Crowley- Crobby ain't a thing

_Dear Fan fiction,_

What? What in the hell is that?

...

Oh, I get it. Can't say I enjoy it, but I get it.

Bobby and I, we would not make a good couple.

Don't believe me? Then go ask Bobby and leave me alone.

I have people to beat, and souls to torture. And whatnot.

_Crobby is not a thing,_

_Crowley_

* * *

A/n: You tell them, Crowley!

Bobby's take on Crobby is coming soon.


	8. Sam- No Superwholock

_Dear Fan fiction,_

Superwholock? What is that?

...

Okay, that makes sense... That wasn't sarcasm.

Why in the Hell would I ever want to spend more than five seconds in a room with Sherlock?

Or any of the doctors, they are all annoying.

Why would this be fun?

By the end of the day someone would be dead. And it won't be me.

_it'll never happen,_

_Sam._

* * *

A/n: I'm pretty sure this is Sam's first letter... What? Anyway, how come no one requested Superwholock? Or anything like that?


	9. Gabriel- Sabriel isn't a thing!

_Dear fan fiction,_

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

I can't hear you.

I am so horrified that it is even a thing. AND that you have a name for it and all that jazz!

Sam and I! Puhlease, like that'll ever happen! I'd rather gouge my eyeballs out.

It is still better than shipping me with Lucifer, because that is just wrong.

And where do you all come up with this stuff? Do you just sit at home all day and write these vile things?

You might want to get your head checked.

_Sabriel will never be a thing, _

_Gabriel_

* * *

A/n: And that, my Kittens, is what Gabriel thinks of Sabriel. Requests, as always, are welcome...

I wonder what Lucifer thinks of Samifer?


	10. Dean-I'm not gay!

_Dear Fan fiction, _

Nope.

That'll never happen- ever.

Destiel?

I don't know about Cas, but you do know I'm not gay. Right?

And that is so weird.

Humans and angels shouldn't be together.

And I don't like Cas like that, because I'm not gay.

Okay, shut up.

_Never gonna happen,_

_Dean_

* * *

A/n: Am I the only one who noticed this chapter is three hours late, I am aren't I?

Dean is soo in denial.


	11. Sam not like (i)Mpregnation

_Dear fan fiction,_

What the hell?

Mpreg, seriously? Do you not have better things to do with your lives?

That isn't even a subject I am willing to discuss.

Goodbye. And let's not talk about this again.

_That is illogical,_

_Sam_

* * *

A/n: I am extremely lazy and wrote an extremely short letter... This is not the last we shall hear of the Mpreg!

The next letter will be a Lucifer letter *insert creepy music here*


	12. Dean is shocked

_Dear Fan fiction,_

So, you actually think that you could make a ship of Jo and I and get away with it?

Jo was like my little sister, so that is definitely crossing a line there.

And she is dead. Do you get that? D-E-A-D, dead.

And if she was alive, I could tell you right fucking now that we wouldn't be together.

I mean, would you ever be with your little sister? I did not think so!

_Sincerely,_

_Dean_

* * *

A/n: And this is like two or three days late! Yeah, I'll update later today to make up for it!


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